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Bachelor in Paradise 2020: Abbie Chatfield fights for Ciarran Stott

“I don’t want to be perceived as this aggressive b**ch, but I think he’s mine now.”

Two tattooed, shaggy-haired guys, a group of women who seem to be friends, for now, a man who kind of sets of the stalker alarm bells… it could only be Bachelor in Paradise.

The new season kicked off tonight in Fiji with past Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants making their entrances in the biggest way they knew how.

There were some familiar faces (and hairstyles), like Timm Hanley with his pencil ‘stache, and long hair, and Brittany Hockley who was famously dumped at the altar by the Honey Badger.

Then there was Ciarran Stott, who is pretty unforgettable for his bleach blonde hair and British accent. But if you don’t remember Ciarran from Angie Kent’s season of the Bachelorette, you’ll remember him forevermore as the guy who entered stark naked but for a body full of tattoos and a bunch of plastic grapes shielding his bits.

Married at First Sight is long finished, coronavirus is ruining everything, so thanks Bachelor in Paradise for giving us something frivolous and a bit idiotic to fill the long winter nights.  

No. Just no. Photo: Channel 10

“Ciarran is so hot I have to be with him”

Abbie Chatfield makes it clear from the get go that she only has eyes for Ciarran even before she knows he’s going to be there.

Every man who walks in is a miserable disappointment to Abbie until finally Ciarran arrives, naked. Abbie can’t speak. She looks like she can’t breathe.

“Ciarran’s so hot I have to be with him,” she says.

But then lucky Abbie hears that she’s “on Ciarran’s list”. And all the women watching collectively swooned as more romantic words were never uttered.

Unfortunately for Abbie, Cass arrives and Ciarran starts to obsess about how small she is. He holds her foot up to his hand demonstrating that they’re the same size. Abbie is heartbroken but not beaten. Read on for her revenge moment.

“It’s important to be determined.” Photo: Channel 10

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Triple date trouble

Osh turns up and everyone is at once excited and suspicious. Their instincts are proven right when Osh pulls out the first date card which he gives to Timm along with the instructions that Tim needs to pick two women to take on his date.

Maybe it’s because he can’t remember anyone’s name, or maybe it’s because he’s genuinely interested in both, but he picks Brittney and Brittany. To be clear Brittney is the exuberant one who didn’t get picked by the Honey Badger and Brittany is the one who got dumped at the altar by the Honey Badger. This is going to be confusing.

The date is kind of awkward, but they make the best of it, dancing to the live band and drinking daiquiris. Just like in Nick’s season, Brittany seems to be the favourite, much to Brittney’s dismay, but she makes the best of it cracking jokes and laughing.

For her lovely energy, Brittney is our favourite. Or is it Brittany? Photo: Channel 10

“I f**ked up

Cut to the dinner where the other cast members have written anonymous questions on bits of paper to ask each other.

Ciarran gets singled out in a question about his ex, Renee, who turns out to be Cass’ mate. “I f**ked up,” he explains after some prodding. “I ended up cheating on her.”

The atmosphere changes as everyone judges Ciarran. Except for Abbie. For her their love is written in the stars, no matter who he cheated on. “Everyone makes mistakes,” she says. “You’ve made one mistake. It shouldn’t stop you moving forward unless someone here is friends with Renee.”

“I’m friends with Renee,” Cass of the tiny feet pipes up.

But the cheating doesn’t seem to faze her. In an interview she says, “If Renee is fine about everything I might actually pursue this.”

And she does. Later the pair is on the couch, cheesily whispering adjectives to each other.

“I guess you think I’m cute,” Cass says.

“Hot,” says Ciarran.

“Hot,” says Cass.

“Sexy.”

“Sexy.”

It’s too much. We’re lactose intolerant. We can’t handle the cheese.

The object of many ladies’ affections. Photo: Channel 10

“He’s mine now”

Not one to lose gracefully, Abbie invites Ciarran back to her room. The race is on for his rose, after all.

“It’s better to have determination and a clear objective. Cass will not be happy with me, but I’m going to get him,” she says.

“I don’t want to be perceived as this aggressive b**ch, but I think he’s mine now.”

And that’s a wrap, folks.  

Where would we be without night vision cameras? Photo: Channel 10

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