“And I just keep thinking about that friend and the hollow look in her eyes, and like, I get it now. I get it.”
When it comes to discussing your parenting style and decisions in certain circles, there are a few taboo topics that most people know not to raise.
We don’t talk about circumcision, feeding your baby solids earlier than six months, and we should probably add sleep training to the list. Because it seems everyone has an opinion and nobody wants to consider anyone else’s.
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Her little boy has been teething too. Image: iStock.
“I was warned…”
One woman has posted to reddit about how she was warned by a friend many years ago never to talk about sleep training, but that was before she had kids herself and she clearly didn’t realise the importance of the game-changing advice that was being handed to her… until years later when she was so exhausted her eyeballs felt like they were falling out of her head.
“In the past three months, he has cut six teeth, learned how to crawl, started pulling to stand, and decided that he can sleep when he’s dead,” the woman wrote in her post.
“It’s been brutal. My partner and I have had screaming fights at 2 in the morning. I am now sleeping on the floor in the baby’s room so everyone can get at least some sleep — everyone but me, of course. I have reached the phase of sleep deprivation where I don’t feel tired and can’t fall asleep but I’m hallucinating so I know that logically I must be tired.”
The woman’s partner had visited a friend who has two “perfect sleepers” — she referred to her as “Chloe Brown”.
She continued, “Chloe Brown sleep trained them both at two months. Chloe Brown made them cry it out and it was fine. Chloe Brown feels soooooo f*cking sorry for us. F*ck you, Chloe Brown.”
The partner wanted to try crying it out. An argument ensued. The mum explained why she’s not comfortable with the CIO method, then became determined to resolve the issue without resorting to letting her baby cry too much.
And this eventually led her to the internet, which is really not the place for exhausted parents in the middle of the night, but she quickly realised the error in her ways and wrote a funny post about how “sleep training sucks and most of the advice you get is stupid, and isn’t it stupid how many mothers feel they have to apologise for just picking up the baby when it cries?”
The post which was intended to be a sort of lighthearted praise to mums who are doing their best, was shared elsewhere and suddenly (in her words) “a bunch of crazy bitches showed up all at once and tried to set me on fire.”
Yeah we get that too…
It was meant to be lighthearted. Image: iStock.
“The 9 people you’ll encounter…”
So the woman put together a list of the various types of people you’ll encounter when you dare to talk about this taboo topic, and it’s actually so hilarious… but be warned, you might find yourself in here too!
“Little Miss Here’s A Study That Doesn’t Address Any Of Your Points but Proves you Wrong Somehow, Now Shut Up And Delete Your Post” – Yep, we’ve all known those people who just want to disagree with you and look clever enough to link to evidence. Doesn’t matter that it proves nothing, but they’ve probably not even read it anyway.
“Mr Study That Shows That Crying It Out Doesn’t Tramatise Kids, A Point You Never Tried to Make But Read It Anyway” – The woman didn’t actually mention anything crying it out traumatising anyone. She just said it wasn’t for her. Do people automatically assume this is why? Who knows…
“Miss 80 Percent Of Ferberized Babies Stop Bothering Their Parents at Night Eventually” – As the woman pointed out, that leaves 20 percent…
“Little Miss StOp JuDgInG mE” – Again, who’s judging who here?
“Little Miss I Know All About You People” – “These bitches told me to go discuss Dr. Sears with the other hippies at the attachment parenting sub,” she said, adding, “I have never read Dr. Sears and I don’t practice attachment parenting.”
“Little Miss I Didn’t Read Your Post” – It was obvious many people didn’t even read her post, but assumed it was about crying it out. It wasn’t. It was “almost exclusively about gentle sleep training advice like nap schedules and drowsy-but-awake.”
“Little Miss Passive Aggressive” – Apparently it led to another thread from a woman about hating posts that hated on sleep training. See how ridiculous we can become when we’re tired?
“Little Miss I’m Gonna Hit You Where It Hurts And Then You’ll Be Sorry” – Well let’s just play nicely please!
“Little Mister What About The Men” – Ha! They’re around lady… they’re around.
“Little Miss Downvote Everything To Hell” – This is the reddit equivalent of dropping a thumbs down emoji on the post.
“Little Miss Report Button” – And this is like the above, but done anonymously because you’re a coward.
“Someone will have something negative to say”
Thankfully , this time around most people were mostly supportive and raise a very valid point about such topics always attracting those with strong feelings and opinions.
“No matter what you do, someone will have something negative to say,” commented one person. “Apparently this is a ‘normal part of motherhood’ and it’s ‘inappropriate’ to tell them to f*ck off with their unsolicited criticism. I’m sorry other moms are shitty, and I hope your kiddo goes to sleep.”
Another added, “I firmly believe that we will be the generation of mothers who was traumatized by internet parenting experiences.”
One said, “Right before I had my first kid, my older sister told me not to listen to her (or anyone’s) advice unless I wanted to. Her exact words were ‘People tend to give parenting advice that validates their own choices’.” We cannot love this comment enough!
And for those on the frontlines and exhausted, one mum shared a great tip that will give us something to look forward to in the years to come.
“All four of my kids feel that sleep is for the weak. We have tried it all. No one sleeps through the night in this house. When these adorable little assholes are teenagers trying to sleep in on weekends I shall have my revenge. Muahahahahaaaaaaa. Air horns, 80 pound furry alarm clocks, you name it!”